yuck

Been off work now for 13 months and am tired of the wondering what is up. It could be so easy to go to the dark place and stay there. I hate! Yes hate the uncertainty of what will happen. so many good things have happened since the move but this one is not good as of yet. I just had my second cortisone shot and it does not seem to be working. The first one in my leg did nothing and so the Dr. said we will now do one in your tailbone. Wonderful! Not! I am a big baby when it comes to pain in my back.Now this one is doing nothing except now I have more pain in my back and the leg is still numb.So I wait two weeks and go to see the Dr. and from there we will see what is up. He said maybe operation on the back. This scares me.

I love my job and wonder if I will every get there again.If I don't go back to work soon I will have to take some other courses to keep my mind busy so I don't think about my back. So all I can do is take it to the Lord and rely on Him to give me strength to get through.

Today is one of those days where I feel the pull very strong to go to the dark place and hide.But I know that the Lord is bigger and instead I will run to Him.

I made Jim hold me and let me cry I told him there is nothing you can fix so just let me have my cry.He did. I love that man so much cause he puts up with me when I get like this. I don't even want to put up with me when I am like this. It comes in waves and maybe it is good as it washes away like the tide.

Time flies

Well it is hard to believe we have been in our new house almost 5 months and so much has changed. We built a new deck, are getting new windows and bought a brand new bedroom suite and stuff for our living room. Which might not be a big deal for any one else but for us this is huge.We have never had new stuff, before mostly second hand which was fine but now it is the time for us to have new. We have been in a bad place the last few years and the Lord has brought us out of it. He has blessed us so very much even in the middle of the stuff we where going through. Without Him we would not be here, not only in our new house but with each other.Thirty years this year thank you Lord!

One of the hardest things this summer was my mentor and best friend went Home to be with the Lord and I miss her a lot. She was like a mom to me and was there whenever I needed a slap to keep on track with the Lord.I try not to cry as I know that she is at peace but some times when I need to hear " stop navel gazing and keep your eyes on the prize" I remember I don't have her to share with any more, and I cry. When two people you love go home in less than a year it is hard. Allan and Carol will both be missed.

When summer started we went to SHOP and the Lord spoke to us that more change was coming and we should walk in what He has for us. While we both are saying yes to Him in whatever He wants for us. This is very exciting for me as I see my husband growing in the Lord in a new way.

My little granddaughter is 9 months old now and starting to stand up so by Christmas time she should be walking/running, she is very happy and Dawn is one blessed mom.

I have been off work a year now and am tried of it, if I am off any longer I will have to start another course of some kind just to keep my sanity. I have now had two shots in my back to see if they will help with the pain and inflammation. the first one did nothing and so now I have done number two, this one was in the tailbone into the spine. so I am praying it works as the Dr. said if it did not than off to surgery. which to be honest scares me! But I know that the Lord is with me and will keep me strong.

Hungry for more!

On Sunday we went to SHOP excited to hear Ed and Lynn talk about what they had experienced in Florida at the healing conference. Needless to say I went excepting something but not sure what. Well the Power came full force and now I have to say I need more of Him and less of me. I am on a search for what I can do to get that intimacy once again with Him . I know that I have not been there for awhile, not that He went any where just me.

Right at this moment I am listening to David Ruis on God TV and realize it has been along time from Him and this place of total abandonment. I need more but not sure how that looks. I am on the hunt for it!So here I come looking for MORE!!

Telephone Books

Well another year of telephone books is done thanks goodness for that. Our church does telephone books once a year to help raise extra money for things at church. It is a long long week with evenings being given up to do this. I am very glad that it is over for another year. One bad thing happened this year I ran over someones basketball net and it cost me $180.00 my first run over ever. Other wise all went well, the books were done in less than 10 days which was nice.

We sold our house and got the keys for our new one on the 15th of May. I must say at first I was disappointed in our new house as we realized how much work we had to do. I think Jim and I were so tired from looking that because we did not have to bid on this one we just bought it. When we saw it again we were shocked on the colours and the shape of things.

But we have super children who gave of their time to help us get it ready to move into. We started painting the upstairs on Sunday and by Monday we were ready to paint the basement. We just brought our colours from our old house. In six days we had everything done inside.We still have lots of things that need to be done, but it sure feels good now. On Saturday the 24 of May at 6:00pm we were all moved in. Not only that but just about everything was put away. Way to go Tina! I am so very blessed with great kids. They sure were a help if they had not all given of their time, Jim and I would still be painting. I hope to figure out how to post pictures to show the colours before and after.I have to say it feels good now.

I finally finished my course and got my marks for it and have to say I am proud of me. I did so much better than I thought I could do. So now I am a Early Childhood Educator III. Which means I can open a centre or work as a Director. Now I need to find something else to do with my spare time. I am thinking of taking another course but just not sure what it will be.

Two more days

In two days all that will be left of my course to do is the writing of my notes and thoughts about what I thought of my time at the centre. I did the workshop and it was fine and have done the parent resource, so now I am down to the wire. Hard to believe, that I am almost finished.

We took my dad to his home last night which made him happy to finally be out of the hospital after three long weeks. He spent the last week with one of his friends who came in with a bad heart. He is younger than my dad and my dad felt bad for him as he had to stay there.

Well now that is finished we will start to pack. Not long and we will be in our new house. I am looking forward to it but will miss my friends here.

Last week I broke my back tooth and had to get it pulled out so now I have no back teeth up top. Boo who. It sure hurt and I cried alot that day. But it feels better now. I broke it eating sunflower seeds. ouch!

Hello again!

Well lets see we sold our house and are moving as of May 27. I am very happy about that no more having to run out of the house for hours at a time. We had four offers and took the top one. Just when I thought things would settle down, my dad fell and hurt his hip. He has been in the hospital for the last two weeks, so that means me going and seeing him everyday. I don't mind as someday I know he won't be here and I really like spending time with him. My youngest daughter was home for Spring break with baby and was not to happy that we could not spend to much time together she asked if I had to spend all my time with grandpa. I told her it was my honor, privilege and duty to spend time with him, that is how I feel anyways. I did spend some time with her and I think she was just feeling that way when her friends were not here.

I also started my final part of my course I am now in my practicum at a centre where I follow a Director around it is very interesting getting a view of what they do. I have to do a workshop for a staff meeting this week and a parent resource board and one more week of following. After that I need to write what my experience was like and than I am finished and will be able to apply for a job as a Director.It has been a long hard road but I am almost finished!

WOW!!

Well, since I last blogged we found a house and put our house up for sale. The sign went up this morning. I never thought we would get it cleaned but it is done. Thank God for Tracee who is my neighbor and friend, she came by on Friday when she saw our house on MLS and said she would help me to clean it up. As I can not pick up or move any thing to heavy she did all that. She came over all weekend and man it looks great. I would want to buy back my own house, but it is still to big for us. With five bedrooms and only two people it is to large. Anyways the fun now begins as we wait for some one to fall in love with it. I am praying for the right family to move in. I know that the Lord is great because He brought Tracee here to help me get it done. With her help, my youngest daughter, oldest daughter and her husband it was done by 8:30 last night. On Thursday I could not see the end of the tunnel and now I can see the whole field. Wow!