6 weeks

Hard to believe that it has been six weeks since I blogged, and it has been a hard six weeks. Lets see first one of my oldest friends went home to be with the Lord on Oct 11. than a week after his funeral, his wife ended up in the hospital only to find out she has terminal cancer. So visiting her for a week everyday took its toll on me and I got sick for a week. Now I am better and she is still in the hospital. She is coming to stay with our family until she can leave to fly out to Newfoundland to stay with her daughter there.

Carol and Allan where people in my life who made a huge difference to me. When I was alot younger they help me to get off the street and see that life was worth living.

My poor dad has gone blind in one eye and the other one will go soon he says.The only thing that I know at this moment is that I am loved and will never be only because my bestfriend is with me always.

The good news is that my grandbaby will be here in less than three weeks, I can hardly wait to hold him/her and know that the world goes on.

Sad times/Happy times

a very good friend of mine went to be with the Lord and it is sad because he will be missed, but on the other hand happy as he is with the Lord. This man was a huge part of my saving grace because 35 years ago he and his wife took in a screwed up kid and loved her and showed her, she was worth something.They saved me from a life of who knows and saved me from the street.

I wish I could say all that is in my heart for both of these people. It is hard to let go even when you know that someday you will see them again. first him and now her but I know that they are both in good hands.

Family what a wonder

Well this Monday all of our children came home for supper, it was a wonderful time. There where our 6 children, three children-in- loves, and two grandsons and grandpa. Also four add ons, my husband and myself. It was loud but great. Lots of good food and company. I took a picture of the children together and the thought I had was that maybe this was the last one for along time. times change and so do people.

Our second son and his lovely wife told us that they had a special announcement. We all thought that they where having a baby but not now. They said they won the Super Natural Lottery which made my family wonder what happened,well the cool thing is they have been praying for the Lord to give them direction to what they where suppose to do in the ministry that they have been involved in the last few years. Their hearts are to serve Him wherever or however they can.Any way one of the biggest draw backs in their live is the lack of money, the funny thing is if they where to leave the country and go on a mission trip people would line up to support them.Being that they felt the Lord was calling them to stay here and do His work, it as been hard to get people to support them.They do have a few people who are but not enough, but the Lord is awesome and knows our every need. He alone knows how they have been living the last few years. Well what He did is unbelievable He laid it on someones heart to help them in a huge way and it spoke volumes to their family. Some people would call it luck, I call it way to go Lord. I am amazed at how the Lord works in our lives. I can only ask that this works in my family to draw them closer to Him who loves them more than any other.They are now debt free and can give more, save more and speak more of His love for them and everyone. I am so blessed to have witnessed that miracle for them.

cool workshops

well this last Thursday and Friday I got to go to some works shops about Socio-Cultural Influences on Maternal Depression and Attachment. I really enjoyed them. I learned alot and I also won a book on Attachment. I find it funny how the Lord does things, these workshops gave me a better understanding of what is wrong with my girls. It also gave me lots of information to give to my daughter who is having a baby.

Tomorrow our church is having a potblessing for thanksgiving and it will be different without Cathy there. Cathy went to be with the Lord last Saturday and her service was on Thursday and more than 200 people came to say good bye to her. She will be missed but we know that she is HOME waiting for us. I personally will miss her hugs.
On Monday our children are coming over for Thanksgiving and I am looking forward to having them here. I love my family and am blessed by each of them even the ones I don't see alot of.

What's new

So I went for a MRI on my knee because they(Dr) thinks I tore the cartilage in my knee when I fell.So now I am off for two more weeks until they get the results. I am trying to get my school work done and hopefully I will get it all done before I go back to work. Than I will only have to do my practicum and I will be a ECE 3. Today was a hard day for my knee as I went to physiotherapy this morning and it really hurt. I had a little cry and now have ice on it and hopefully it will feel better.

So now I am working on my homework and finding out how much it will cost me to open my own daycare.
My daughter who is having a baby came home for the weekend and we sat together on the couch and she let me feel the baby. It was very cool. She is coming home for thanksgiving, it will be nice to have us all together once again.

We went looking for a smaller house on the weekend and went to look at trailers. There sure are some nice ones out there. It was hard to look and see how big they are and so much cheaper than a house. Are we moving? Not sure we are just looking to see what is out there, as we both feel our house is to big now that all the children are moving out. Yes my oldest son is finally going his own way. I hope it works for him as we will not be able to have him move in with us as we want a smaller place.

One of my friends past away this weekend and as sad as it is, it is also a happy time. She just got baptized a month ago and found out a week after that she had lung cancer and went to be with the Lord fast. Part of me is jealous as she is there and has no more pain and can be with the One who loves her more than any other. I think when we cry we cry because we are not ready to see the person go even if we know that it is part of life. Makes me realize that life is short and we should tell all the people in our lives how much we care. We should forgive the ones who hurt us and let go and let God.

Well I am off for now to see my dad and enjoy the time I have with him. Have a great day.

Safe

Well my daughter is safe for now, as she is back at her old foster home. I really hope it works for the next few months. It is really hard as she is 18 soon and than she is out on her own. That is hard as she is not ready to be on her own. I know that as much as I care she can't come home, as she doesn't want to follow the guidance from us, no, not just us anyone. So she is choosing a hard road when we all say go the easy way. I hope and pray for her every day that she will see how serious it is when she just wants to party all the time. Nothing wrong with it, but you need balance.
Funny I can relate to her, but know that you have to be responsible for what you do and stop blaming others for things in your life. I think we give others way to much credit for what we do wrong in our lives. I also believe there comes a point when you have to take back the power we give to others. I try really hard not to let others give me their baggage about me. A few weeks ago I went to a wedding in my family and it was funny how I went right back to feeling 15 around those people. Than I realized they had no power over me and that person who I was when I was stupid and young was gone, and they all made mistakes too. So than I felt better.
I also know that they all made comments about my daughters and how they would have handle the situation but not one of them offered help when we needed it, or lived here when all the crap was going on. Years ago my mom told me to tell a certain person in our family that they should clean off their own doorstep before they come clean mine. It is like the bible verse where Jesus tells the people to take the log out of their own eye before they take the splinter out of the other person.
Oh well so much for my mutterings for today.

Finally finished

Well I finally finished another assignment for my course. Only 7 more to go and two exams. Thank God the other course has no exams and I only have two more assignments to go there. A word of advice if any one even reads this, stay in school and finish your dream when you are not working. Doing it Distance Ed is hard.
The story of my daughter continues: as of Tuesday no one has heard from her or even knows where she is. All I can do is pray that she is save. She knows everything and yet knows nothing. Where I on the other hand know nothing, except that I have a Father in Heaven who loves me. Which is alot to know.I remember thinking I knew everything and than I got older and realized that I have alot of experience but it doesn't mean I know every thing.
My baby girl was here on Tuesday night and we had a great visit. She is doing really well in the new home and seems happier. Now if only the other one would find the same safety.
Oh well that is all for now as I must get eady to go to DR. Have a great day and peace to you.

Off work

On Aug 10 I fell at work and hurt my left knee and my right side of my back, so I have been off work. Doing homework for my course and just resting my knee. I also go to therapy twice a week. So today I went to the Dr to find out when I could go back to work. Now my boss called yesterday and wants me to come back next Thursday, but the Dr said no two more weeks off. I know that my boss is not going to be happy,but I need to be able to bend and move just like I did before I fell. So now I will try to get more of my course done. I would like to be finished it by the end of Dec.But we will see.

today is better

Well today was better than yesterday. I spent most of the day with my dad. He is 87 and full of wonderful stories of life. I love listening to him talk about his life. He never was much of a dad when I was growing up but in the last few years that sure has changed. I have learned a lot about him and why he is the way he is. He was raised in a boarding school till he was 10 spoke no English only French, was taken out of there when a nun beat him so bad his hands where bleeding. My Nan and him lived in a boarding house and she worked full time. When he was 19 he joined the services to fight in the 2nd world war and was a prisoner when he was captured in Dieppe in 1942, He was there till the end of the war. He never talked about this till a few years ago. He is a funny old duff as he says what he wants and doesn't care what any one thinks or says about him. He loves his grandchildren and he is very proud of each of them, if he isn't he will tell them.Lol. He is always trying to teach me a life lesson even now.About 5 years ago he bought me a van, than he told me I had to pay at least $400. so I would appreciate what I had paid for. I laughed and said at this time of my life I appreciated whatever I got. But he wanted to teach me something and felt that even at my age I needed to learn this again.

here we go

Ok so I finally got the nerve up to post. My son says I should do this so I will try. Not that I have anything profound to say just things that come to my small mind. Today is a interesting day, in the fact that my youngest has left home, not because of age but of circumstances in her life. She is having a baby which at first was a huge shock but as days go by we have come to the place where we can now offer to help her along this path. I cry as I write this for dreams lost, but look to the future with hope for both my baby and her baby.

There are a million things going on in my head, but I can't even put them all down,as they don't make any sense. So for my first time this will be it. As the days go by I will try to write more.